The choice to have guests at your elopement is going to be much more selective than a traditional wedding, and it can inevitably be one of the most significant stressors for eloping couples.
You are not obligated to invite anyone to your intimate elopement. It’s completely okay to keep your elopement to just the two of you – this decision is entirely up to you and your partner.
As an all-inclusive elopement vendor team, we feel it’s important to have resources and insight to help you navigate this part of your elopement stress-free and make the best decision for you.
If you know you want to have guests at your intimate elopement but aren’t sure who to invite, or if you’re trying to decide whether or not to include guests at all, we’re here to share our top tips to help you make this decision.
The Mindset Around Eloping
Before we jump into to deciding who is or isn’t on your guest list for your wedding, I want to talk about the mindset around eloping and telling your loved ones that you are going to elope. If you asked 100 poeple why they decided to elope, you’d probably get 100 different answers.
Each and every couple is going to have their own reason for eloping and every single one of them is valid. With that said, that doesn’t mean that it is an easy decision to choose who you do or don’t want included in your actual wedding.
It is totally normally to struggle a bit with the decision to not invite everyone to your wedding and it’s also totally normal to not struggle with it and instead decide that you’re going to do a separate celebration with your friends and family later.
As you are approaching this decision and telling your loved ones what you want to do for your wedding, I have a few tips for you:
- Write down exactly why you want to have an intimate elopement. Not only will this help you understand exactly what you want, but having this will also give you confidence going into conversations with your friends and family.
- Come at this with compassion. Understand that some people may react really positively and some people may be a bit disappointed. All of that is valid, but so is your decision to have your wedding day exactly how you want it.
- Resist the urge to apologize. This is your day, and you have absolutely nothing to apologize for.
If you want more tips on how to approach this conversation with your family, you can check out my full blog post here. But just remember that this day is about you and what you want, so take the time to site with your partner and really think about what you want your wedding day to look like.
What Are the Benefits of Having a Small Guest List at Your Elopement?
Quality time
With a smaller guest list, you’ll be able to spend more quality time with your guests, including more one-on-one time. You’ll truly be able to be present with everyone and create meaningful memories with them, and you won’t have to feel rushed on the day of your elopement.
You will surround yourself with people who love and know you to your core
Instead of having to invite your distant aunt to your wedding, who only sends you a Facebook message on your birthday with a small guest list, you get to cherry-pick who is and isn’t invited.
Your guest list won’t turn into a list of people you hardly ever talk to—rather, it will be filled with people who love you, care about you, and are thrilled to celebrate this significant moment with you and your partner.
Your elopement can be shorter
With an elopement and a smaller guest list, your day doesn’t have to be 8, 10, or 12 hours long. Your ceremony can be much shorter, and the overall logistics will be much less complex. Also, you’ll be able to design your day to look exactly the way you want.
Your guests will feel valued
With a smaller guest list, your guests will have so much time to get to know each other, and you can fully enjoy your time with everyone who showed up to your elopement.
How to Choose Your Guest List
Consider the maximum amount of guests you would like to attend
Remember that an elopement typically has 20 guests at most, and you need to be intentional about who you invite. When deciding who to invite, think about the people you can’t imagine not having as part of your celebration.
A Visualization Exercise
One of our favorite exercises we do with our clients is this: Close your eyes and imagine standing at the altar, the heart of your ceremony. As you turn to look at the faces around you, who do you see?
Visualize each person’s presence and the energy they bring. This vision will guide you in determining the core group of people you truly wish to have by your side on this significant day.
Reflecting on who makes you feel supported and joyful will help you craft a guest list that enhances your celebration, ensuring it is shared with those who matter most and determine the scale of your wedding day!
After this visualization exercise grab a pad and pencil and jot down the list of people that you imagine being at your elopement.
How close are you to the guests you’ve added to your list?
Before you start sending out the invitations, we want you to answer the question: How close are you really to the guests you’ve added to your list? Are they important to both you and your partner?
If your potential guests aren’t very close to you or your partner, or if you feel like you have to invite them but don’t really want to, it may be better to leave them off of your list.
What is the ability level of your guests?
With your guest list, consider whether there are any mobility issues, health risks, or preferences to consider when picking a ceremony location.
Also, if you’re having a destination elopement, keep in mind that you might need to have a smaller guest list to easily accommodate travel and accommodation arrangements.
At Ascend Together, if you plan your elopement with us, we have a section of our elopement questionnaire to help you and your partner decide intentionally who to invite, and we give you unique ways you can include family members who aren’t at your elopement.
Also, if you want to learn more about ways to include friends and family in your elopement, read our blog post here.
Ready to Make Your Guest List for Your Intimate Elopement?
When it comes to making your guest list for your intimate elopement, the most important thing we want you to take away from this guide is to prioritize your vision, whether that means having guests at your elopement…or not.
And if you’re looking for a California elopement package with a vendor team ready to start making your stress-free elopement a reality, let’s work together!
All you have to do is –
- Book your complimentary consultation. During this session, we will offer you creative ideas, show you what’s possible, and guide you step by step in crafting a day that’s unique to you.
- Then, you’ll receive a guided questionnaire to simplify your decision-making, which also includes short video explanations from elopement experts. In this part of the process, we will help you choose vendors, set budgets, and effortlessly craft your dream timeline.
- After you submit your questionnaire, we handle all the research for your tailored proposal, from venue and accommodation to vendors and excursions. We then will hop on a planning call where we’ll wrap up all the details seamlessly and connect you with everything you need for your stress-free elopement.
Does that sound just like what you’ve been looking for? Go here to get started!
