What to do before you even pick a date
You’ve decided—you’re going to elope. Whether it hit you during a sunrise hike in Yosemite, after a quiet moment along the Big Sur cliffs, or because planning a traditional wedding just never felt like you—this first step is powerful.
But now what?
If you’re feeling excited but also unsure where to begin, you’re not alone. Most couples we work with start with a feeling, not a checklist. And that’s the perfect place to begin. In this post, you’ll learn how to start planning your elopement in a way that feels clear and true to you.
Here’s what to do before you pick a date, book a venue, or choose what to wear.
1. Pause and celebrate
You made a meaningful decision. Give yourselves space to let that sink in.
Plan a cozy dinner. Go on a walk together. Talk about what you’re excited for. Whether you’re eloping in Tahoe’s alpine quiet, along the dramatic coastline of Big Sur, or under Yosemite’s granite peaks, the energy starts here—with presence and intention.
You don’t need to start planning yet. First, just honor the choice you made together.
2. Get clear on how you want to feel
Instead of rushing to logistics, get grounded in how you want to feel on the day.
Do you want quiet moments without an audience? Space to explore and connect? Do you picture laughter, adventure, stillness, or a little bit of everything?
Naming these feelings gives your day direction—and makes every decision easier from here.
3. Decide who (if anyone) is coming
Start thinking through the guest conversation early—even if your answer changes.
Will it be just the two of you? A few loved ones? Do you want to celebrate with family later, even if they’re not present during the ceremony?
Whether you’re inviting parents to Yosemite, planning a private Big Sur ceremony, or sharing a two-day Tahoe trip with your closest people, making this choice with intention helps avoid pressure and guilt later on.
4. Choose the landscape first, not the exact spot
Instead of jumping into Google searches for “elopement venues,” ask yourselves this:
What kind of place makes us feel most alive?
- Big Sur: Rugged cliffs, winding roads, and dramatic ocean views.
- Lake Tahoe: Crisp alpine air, snow-dusted trails, and pine-framed sunsets.
- Yosemite: Iconic cliffs, meadows, waterfalls, and soul-stirring quiet.
Once you know the type of place that fits you, finding the exact spot becomes so much easier. Check out our post on where to elope in Northern California for more ideas.
5. Reach out to your elopement team early
You don’t need to have anything figured out to reach out. In fact, it’s better if you don’t.
By connecting early, you’ll get expert support before making any big decisions—like how long you need, what locations match your priorities, and what kind of timeline fits your vision.
We’ll help you think through permits for Yosemite (see Yosemite’s NPS guidelines), weather in Tahoe, and traffic around Big Sur. We’ll brainstorm creative ideas for your ceremony, build your timeline around light and privacy, and show you what’s possible in each place—before anything gets locked in.
6. Start gathering inspiration that feels like you
Not from what everyone else is doing—but from what feels aligned with your relationship.
Instead of saving styled shoots that don’t resonate, collect real ideas:
- Vow inspiration
- Private rituals
- Getting ready in a cozy cabin or clifftop cottage
- Photos that feel like your favorite memories
7. What You Don’t Need to Know Yet
One of the biggest reasons couples stall after deciding to elope?
They think they need to have it all figured out before they can start.
Here’s what you don’t need to know yet:
- The exact location
- The perfect date
- What you’re wearing
- How your family will react
You don’t need a fully formed plan to move forward. You just need clarity on what matters to you. That clarity helps your elopement guide (hey, that’s us!) support you in building a day that reflects your values, vision, and vibe.
Final Thoughts
Eloping is about starting your marriage with intention. Without pressure. Without performative moments.
Maybe you don’t know whether it’s a sunrise hike or a private cabin with your dog. Maybe you haven’t told anyone yet. That’s okay.
You don’t need a template. You just need someone who understands how to bring your story to life—wherever it leads you.
Ready to feel clarity instead of pressure?
Let’s take this one step further—together.
If you’re unsure how to start planning your elopement, we’ll walk you through your vision, location ideas, timeline options, and guest considerations—all before you even pick a date.
